You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
