i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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