My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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