yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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