I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
