i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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