Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Found your dick twin last night
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
