he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
