What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize