AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Randomize
