bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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