we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
