I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize