So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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