I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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