Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
