So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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