We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
