i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
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