I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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