we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
