is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
