I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
