what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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