I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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