Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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