I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Did I show you my penis last night?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
