we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
