pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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