You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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