you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
