When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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