is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
