The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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