Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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