his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize