like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
