he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
