im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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