Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize