i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
foreskin is a definite game changer
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
