What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
