I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
