i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
