official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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