I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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