I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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