i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
