I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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