Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I didn't notice because vodka
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
