I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
