Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
