Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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