Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize