woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
