I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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