i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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