I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
