dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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