She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
