it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
...so i touched it.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
