He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
