Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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