I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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