the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
