Can Purell be used as lube?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
