what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
we're chasing vodka with high fives
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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