I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
