Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
