apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
