There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
MIDGETS
????
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
