we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
