He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
