I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
We smell like vodka and hangover
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