He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
