i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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