Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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