Sry I called you an 8
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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