Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
