It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
