So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
