the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
