I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I cannot find my penis.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
