the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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