He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
